george floyd 1973 - 2020


April 21, 2021


I titled this update while the Chauvin trial was happening, 

but before the verdict yesterday. I honestly didn’t know, or to be more precise, believe, that this country was yet ready to acknowledge our own ENTIRE HISTORY of hypocrisy. After writing my song Pearl Harbor, and soon after, 9/11 it became clear to me. That we were a nation born from war that was founded on the principles of democracy and equality for all - by owners of slaves! The response to Pearl Harbor, the bombing of a MILITARY BASE DURING WARTIME, was countered with the destruction of two entire cities of innocents. The effects of which are still killing today. 

The US response to 9/11 was even more hypocritical, as Bush went in and bombed not the people responsible, but the people who supplied us oil; capitalism, yes. Even, equal response? Absolutely not. And we seemed not to have learned our lesson, And it also seemed that all those people died for no reason. 

So the hope I had with the global response to George Floyd's murder was that this was finally the beginning of change. The beginning of the end of the hypocrisy. But this is more the story of the tortoise and the hare. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Two steps forward, one step back. WE WANT TO BE AT THE FINISH LINE! But that is never how it works. Yes the fire has been lit, but you have to keep feeding a fire to keep it going. This means we all have to work towards this slow progress. And part of that work requires, for lack of a better metaphor, going back to base camp to assess and plan the next move. 

After every pandemic is a renaissance, but all this happens slowly, because there are so many moving parts, so many things that have to change. So much was exposed in 2020 and early 2021 that it only makes sense that to fix it all at once will be impossible. 

But this is a start. And Chauvin can rot in jail. That shouldn't make me happy, but it does. 


Update: January 12, 2021

"The atoms that compose your body have existed for billions of years. Originally created by a star, they have been part of many forms before you. But they are exactly the same in structure as they have ever been. So in a very real sense, you are billions of years old. Now that you know that, how do you feel? Any different? Stronger? More expansive? More eternal? I bring these thoughts to your attention, because 2021 will be an excellent year for you to come to a more profound and detailed understanding of your true nature. I hope you will regularly meditate on the possibility that your soul is immortal, that your identity is not confined to this historical era, that you have been alive and will be alive for far longer than you've been taught to believe." - Rob Brezny

This is the Age of Aquarius people! These that are resisting the inevitable change, are akin to the caged rats, simply thrashing around in their  own outdated beliefs, and the persistence of their belief in the lies they have been told, no matter how nonsensical and inconsistent they have been. Kids in cages is not just a THING, it’s a metaphor! What those that are still raging don’t realize is that the doors to their cages are now unlocked, and that they can open the doors and leave WHENEVER THEY WANT! And it is my belief that once under this new U.S. Administration gets to work, and they are finally being seen, heard, and cared about, as well as, and most importantly, finally getting what they need, what they are being offered, that they will finally see that they are going to be better off than ever before. And yes it’s a cliche, but it is also truth. It IS always darkest before the dawn. At least that’s my view…

September 13, 2020 
I could use astrology to describe what I see happening now, but I don’t really have to. All I have to do is look around and pay attention. One four hour conversation Friday night and another long one on Saturday morning, then watching Seth Meyers’ interview with John Cleese brought home to me a realization (my opinion, of course) as to where all of this nightmare bullshit we’ve been dealing with this year is meant to be taking us. 

I have always found it frustrating when other people claim they are not creative. I do not believe this to be true of ANYONE! Everyone has creativity inside of them, and a purpose for being on this planet (yes, even the worst examples of incarnations!) Unfortunately we become distracted by looking into the mirrors of others without taking notice of the fact that we are actually seeing ourselves. 
The last fifteen years with the rise of reality stars, Instagram, Twitter, Tik-Tok, Facebook, et al have been a period of at first glance, simply that EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE FAMOUS! But that is not what this is really about. What it’s about, as we are seeing all this concurrently with more celebrities confessing and admitting to their flaws, difficulties and weaknesses, is really about the dawn of the Aquarian age: this is a time when every single person on the planet is struggling and/or striving to be seen as unique individuals; each utterly and equally important to everyone else on this planet. It is meant to be a time of self reflection, forced upon us by this global pandemic, a time of recognition, characterized in the Black Lives Matter protests in the wake of George Floyd’s murder, where EVERYONE SAW that this was a PERSON who was killed, and people from all races, ages, and nations rose up to fight for the rights of a people that have been so long oppressed; that it in itself is criminal on every level. 

In revisiting one of my favorite movies of all time earlier this summer, Peter Weir’s “The Year of Living Dangerously,” a line repeated by Linda Hunt’s spiritual and idealistic character Billy, as he looked upon the hunger and injustice endured by the poorest people of Jakarta, living under the rule of a selfish and self-important dictator: “What then must we do?” His answer: “To give freely and with love to whomever crosses our path.” This is a line which has been stuck in my head since I first heard it decades ago. 

Seeing the film again, and recognizing the startling similarities to what is going on now, led me to the source of “what then must we do” which is actually a book written by Leo Tolstoy in 1886, in which he describes the social conditions of Russia in his day. In it he details his realization that the lives of privilege and prosperity enjoyed by he and his friends at the time were only made possible by the people we now call “essential workers” who barely eked out a living as they served and fulfilled the needs of those of wealth. And of course it didn’t start there. This has been the case since the beginning of civilization. And it is now the time for us to dig deep within ourselves and: 1. Recognize the value of others! And maybe even more importantly, 2. To recognize out own value! 

Some of us are willingly doing the deep digging into often uncomfortable patterns and pasts that have led us to this point. But of course there are the others: those who refuse to see themselves mirrored in the eyes of those they treat with contempt, and are raging against the ultimate necessity of seeing themselves in those they deem to “hate.” I believe this rage is futile. And I hope and believe that we all, as a global community, are on an inevitable path towards a transformation into our better selves. 

After a recent months-long bout of hopelessness, and an inability to write an update to this page, (See the video I was compelled to make re. Jacob Blake in response to a foreboding horror, in which I felt that the US was slipping into a most dangerous place of repeating Nazi Germany) recent conversations, and my observation of those whom I know personally who are moving in the right direction, and doing the right work, are the things that have brought me back from the brink. 

The murders of Eric Garner and Ahmaud Arbery didn’t do it. Not enough of us were ready to see yet. But now so many are! Please find, and help other’s to find, the courage to see themselves clearly and fully, and to change the things we should and can, and recognize and foster the gifts that we ALL have. We are responsible for ourselves, warts and beauty marks and all… 

I leave you with this quote from George Floyd’s six year old daughter: “Daddy changed the world.”

Update: June 29, 2020 - I defer at first to some other people's words today, who put it better than I could...

"It’s time to fight hate with love! It’s time for every like minded human being, brown, black, or white, to come together! It’s time for all of us to stop this madness! It’s time for all of us to walk together, hand in hand, and show all the haters the love that human beings can have for each other!" ~ Henny Stein 
“It’s not impermanence that is the cause of our suffering.  Rather it’s our resistance to the fundamental uncertainty of our situation … When we resist change, it’s called suffering.  But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment, or awakening to our true nature, to our fundamental goodness.  Another word for this is freedom – freedom from our struggling against the fundamental ambiguity of being human.” ~ Pema Chodron 
"One of the overarching themes this year is calibrating higher vision, through the lens of 2020, by unifying the mind/heart lens of universal Love, and activating a profound 5D ascension point.   Evolution and elevation of this degree can feel “other worldly” because we’re removing the ego’s attachments to old identities in the process, which essentially crumbles the old structures and dissolves the old skin.  It requires some re-orientation and adjustment as we release the familiar patterns. 
The recalibration can feel like a temporary identity crisis if we’ve historically identified ourselves as our 3D story, or a well defined character within our story.  If we hold on, grab on, or cling to those attachments for familiarity, certainty, or comfort, we stagnate our process of ascension.  We can’t realize higher ground by digging our heels into the ground we’ve known so well.  Liberation requires surrender, and awakening requires non-attachment to the status quo and even the current story. 
Since the lens we’re living through affects the forms and structures we create, perceive, and embody, a radical calibration to the higher lens of Universal Love has the power to change the landscape within and without, manifesting higher ground, from the inside out.  We’re not “going” anywhere new, we’re awakening and embodying from a higher lens within ourselves.  We’re waking up, fully opening our eye of “I AM” vision from the heart, and as such, recognizing that we have the power to rewrite the script.  Not by changing what we don’t like, but by choosing to elevate to higher ground…" from Cosmic Consciousness Weekly ~ Christine Clemmer June 29, 2020

"One of the amazing things about being human is that we experience life on a continuum. Maybe there are Zen masters who reach a level of present-moment awareness more than 50% of each day, but I’ve never met them. I have met a few cats (ITALICS MINE!)  that seem to be able to pull that off, but no humans. 
Humans live their lives in anticipation of what’s coming next. When we expect it’s going to be something enjoyable, our moods lift. When we anticipate heartache, hardship, or pain, our moods plummet..." from “Re-Imagine the Future” ~ James Bauer

And as for me...  My friend Tara and I were sitting outside my apartment in NYC, watching some of the first protesters go by, chanting "I can't breathe!" and she started to cry. And I said, "No! Don't feel bad! This is what is supposed to happen! It's a good thing!"

There are now too many events related to this historic uprising of Black Lives Matter to name. But our witnessing of George Floyd's murder has been the catalyst for this change. I believe that this movement has the potential to end inequalities which have been going on since the beginnings of society. In Tolstoy's "What Then Must We Do," his insight on the devaluing of those essential people who made his and his well off friends' lives possible, was published in 1887! Probably not the first to come to this revelation of the inequality between the haves and the have-nots, but significant nonetheless.

It is also significant that George was a Libra, the sign that is all about bringing about balance and equality! Literally balancing the scales of justice.  And I am aware that this is an imperfect metaphor, because though obviously, the traditional image of the scale has two sides, we cannot forget that we are all - at the same time - dealing with and looking with fresh eyes at the same time, racial inequality, the resurgence of the pandemic in the wake of premature openings, but also the climate crisis. Amidst all this upheaval, the reality of global warming, deforestation, the melting of the polar ice caps, and the rapid extinction of millions of species of animals as a result, the urgency of this crisis remains. And if we don't save our actual planet, all of this will be moot...

In the wake of George Floyd's murder.

from the day after I witnessed the video - "This is why I still have hope…"

Ok, so I am going to concentrate specifically on #BlackLivesMatter and how I believe that by looking at what is going on astrologically; by raising our consciousness, we can turn this horrifically negative series of events into a profound and permanent change for the better. I will try to be as simple and succinct as possible, so bear with me… 

Right now, Saturn, which is the planet of power and material success, is conjunct the planet Pluto, the planet of death and destruction, but on the higher level, that of death and rebirth: Transformation on the deepest and most profound levels possible; and the transformations wrought by Pluto are utterly complete and permanent. This event, taking place in Saturn’s own sign of Capricorn, is both reflected in the unprecedented abuse of power going on in our country (as well as globally) and as the obsession with, and the craving for and flaunting of material wealth, which is it’s manifestation on the lowest possible level. But Pluto is present at this moment in time to literally tear down those systems completely and forever, so that this systemic corruption of the worship of power and THINGS over the value of human life, can fulfill each soul’s evolutionary right to manifest power from a higher consciousness of compassion, honor, and nurture of EVERY LIFE ON THIS PLANET (as well as the planet itself!) AS EQUAL AND VALUABLE. Pluto transits are slow, and never easy, but they effect the change no matter what. And I cannot stress enough, this event is infinitely and uniquely historical! 


Like a lot of others, I was made aware of the continued, systemic and brutal racism (that has been going on, globally, for as many years as there has been any kind of societal government on our planet) with the brutal killing of Eric Garner, the shelving for years of any investigation into his case, and the final conclusion: that Daniel Pantaleo was simply FIRED, instead of what should have happened: his serving life in prison for murder. 

So flash forward to the eventual release of the video of Ahmaud Arbery’s senseless killing by racists claiming self-appointed “citizen’s arrest!” And the final trigger, the casual yet heinous murder of an innocent George Floyd by Derek Chauvin, a policeman in Minnesota whose three police officer companions stood by, indifferently ignoring George’s pleas for his life, as he cried out for breath for OVER 8 MINUTES! 

Just a few things I’ve seen so far that give me hope: 

*These protests for #BlackLivesMatter, are so powerful and encouraging! With black, white, brown, and LGBTQ persons protesting all over the world!

*#DefundthePolice, is making a lot more sense to me, the more I learn. Really, why should the police be responsible for people having mental health crises, homelessness, minor drug offenses and addiction issues, even getting CATS out of trees, when there are people trained and qualified to deal with these things in compassionate, non-violent ways!

*In Seattle, one cop forcing another cop to take his knee off the neck of a peaceful protester 

So Pluto is going to do it’s work through all of us. Some on the physical level by literally tearing down structures, and others’ through the higher expression of peaceful protest as witnessed through NYC cops kneeling in solidarity. So many now are working for political change, in the belief that these abominations can be stopped once and for all. So in the end, hopefully everyone will see this video of George Floyd’s final minutes. And thanks to Pluto, what has finally been seen, CAN NEVER BE UNSEEN. And for this reason, it my hope, and my belief, and this with all my heart, that George Floyd did not die in vain, but that his life, and his death, have become the catalyst for permanent change. 


Please watch the following videos!

Before You Call the Cops: the Tyler Merritt Project ~ A beautiful black man telling you who he is, before you call...

 Kimberly Jones: How Can We Win? ~ led to my understanding of why black people destroyed their own communities: because they were never theirs in the first place!